Life as a Mummy of two littles is busy, some days are so hectic that I struggle to gain control of my thoughts and the constant buzz that fills my brain can be overwhelming. Over the last six months I have taken a step back – I’ve been brave & said No more times than I can remember. I’ve shy’d away from baby groups & I have spent a lot more time alone in the comfort of my home. I needed this, the chaos of rushing to and from places and leaving a trail of destruction behind me was getting too much. Constantly hurrying & rushing & frantically demanding the kids “hurry up” only to get where we were going and wonder why? Why the rush, why the need to keep up appearances.. why the need to show face.. why the need to drag the kids around for it to mostly end up being more hassle than it was worth. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had asked me how I was & I had responded with anything other than “Good, but busy”…
I used to need it. The reassurance from other Mums, the knowing & sympathetic looks after a rough night, the support, advice, company. I used to find it essential in my day to day life. I don’t anymore. When I had Safiyah I was young, going above & beyond to surpass strangers expectations & transform pre judgements. I needed to excel at my new role, I wanted to do everything, all the classes, all the at home crafts, the cooking, cleaning, shopping, cramming & squeezing in anything I could to perfect my new assignment of Mummy.
That got old & tiresome very quickly. I slowly learned I didn’t need to be or do all of those things to make me a good mum. Time was the most important investment. My child needed my time, not the crafts, not the baking, not the noisy playgroup company that usually came with arguments; sharing battles, other mums conflicting parenting ways and snotty kids full of cold. Time.
Florence helped me to slow down, her tiny new features compared with her big Sisters little girl appearance jolted me. I realised that time is the only thing kids need & it’s the one thing that passes so fast, taken for granted. Not only do they only need my time… I need the time with them. Their newness is precious & time certainly is accelerated with more than one child. I’m not saying Mum company isn’t nice, it’s lovely when you find true friendships from a common ground. I’m not saying playgroups aren’t wonderful for children & parents, just not all of them, all of the time & especially not the ones that don’t easily fit with your schedule. I’m not saying crafting & baking & fun filed activities aren’t great for getting creative juices flowing, bonding & learning, just not when you heart isn’t in it, you’re doing it for a picture to share on social media or you’re doing it because you feel you have to. You don’t by the way…
I’ve slowed down & learnt to love the simple things, the sofa snuggles with a story, playing in the garden with a cuppa, a simple walk around the woods, drawing & colouring in, a play date – uncomplicated, without the need for extravagant lunches or inviting half the nursery.
Sometimes its good to say No, to enjoy the simple things & cherish your littles whilst they are still little. You have nothing to prove, to yourself or anyone else.
Say no, slow down & savour the young years.